Wednesday, January 1, 2014

A New Year

This is the love of my life, I hear a lot of people talking about their soul mate and I have never been quite sure about that saying but after 26 years with Dennis I can say he is my best friend the person I love the most and want to spend the rest of my life with.  We spend all of our time together and we never get tired of each other, I love the weekends when he gets to be at the shop with me!  We do every thing together and we like it, we never tire of talking or listening to each other.  We have a great respect for each other and nurture each other.  When I am tired he will carry me and when he is tired I will carry him.  He always lifts me up and tells me what a great job I am doing, I love this man with all my heart and soul.

About three months ago he was diagnosed with cancer and I feel like my world is crashing in around me.  Dennis will be starting radiation on the 7th of January and will go everyday for nine weeks.  He has his little tattoos and his markers have been placed, we will walk through this together and I will be there for him in every way that he needs.  When the Doctor called us at home to tell us he had cancer and it wasn't the good kind I felt like I couldn't breath and my heart actually hurt, the pain was incredible!  Dennis is always there for me and he is not even worried, if someone asks him how he is feeling he will replay great.  I say this to him every day "I wish I could be more like you".  He has such a great outlook on life and there is never a problem, he is my rock and my love, I can't even think about life without him!

I have had a lot of people in my life die from cancer and I am scared to death that I will lose the love of my life, I can't even image life without him, I fear I would just curl up and die!  Please send love and light to my Dennis to help us get through this, I believe is prayer and love, so please send us a lot of it the next three months as we walk down another path together.

Please do not post this on Facebook, I just need a place to vent and write.  I don't have a lot of followers so I feel this is a safe place to vent and say what I am feeling.  My followers are like my friends so I don't mind venting on my blog but I don't think I am ready for it to be all over Facebook yet.

I will be doing a lot of writing the next few months because I just need a place that I can write down how I am feeling and my fears and joys.

It is a few minutes until the new year and I am sending blessing to all my friends, may this year bring you much joy, happiness and contentment!  My friends that are going through the fire also, I send you rain to put out the fire and my love to help carry you through it.  

Love, Kandra


  1. Dear Kandra;

    We send all our love to you and Dennis and I will always be here for you.

    Kerrie xxx

    1. Thank you so much Kerrie, I love you like a sister! I know you will always be there for us and we will be there for you!
      Love, Kandra

  2. Kandra, we've only spoken by phone once, but I enjoyed our conversation. May the new year bring health and healing to you and especially your husband. My prayers go out to you.

  3. Hello Kandra,
    I have been a follower of yours for a few years so when I read this via email it broke my heart to hear of your husbands illness as I read the email I felt like I was reading my own story! As my husband is also the love of my life ,my very best friend and we do everything together. So I cannot imagine my life without him in it. We have been married for 16 wonderful years and hope the lord will give us 24 more ! LOL! I wish I could give you a big hug ! You have to be strong for him right now and what ever your faith you give this to the lord and you pray and keep on praying . And you keep those prayers going! Do your research and get second opinions if you don't feel like something is right. Be sure and take control of your husbands health what I mean is be active, ask questions if you don't like the answers don't stop until you get the answers you need. Where is it that you live ? We have an awesome Cancer Treatment Center in Bakersfield California and they save lives. I hope you have a treatment center like that close to you. But I will pray for you and wish there was more I could do for you. You can vent to me anytime you want and let your family be there for you , you both well need a lot of support from your family in the next few months. Again I am so sorry for your trouble but it's not over this fight has only yet begun and you continue to fight no matter what comes your way fight and pray! God only gives you as much as you can handle and he will be holding you through out it all. May god bless you both!
    Debra in California