Foot Surgery

Well I finally have time to bead and I keep falling asleep!  I had surgery on my foot Tuesday and now have time to bead but the pain pills keep putting me to sleep!
Dr. Norman and the Arroyo Grande hospital did a wonderful job and in two weeks I get my stitches out!

I have finished a few projects so that makes me feel better only a 100 more to do! ha-ha

We have received a lot of new beads and it's killing me not to see them!  I will be hobbling around the store next week and try to catch up on everything.

Mie had been tormenting me every time new beads come in calling and saying oh my God they are beautiful! 

So just a quick post to let everyone know I am down and out for a while.

Love, Kandra

August is Here!

Boy does time fly!
Dennis is doing great we are just waiting until he is done with his hormone treatment.

Beads, Beads and more Beads!  I just added 93 new seed beads to my website and there are more coming in as I write this, boy do I have a sickness!  I took pictures all day and just now finished adding them to my website, what a job.

When Sabine Lippert was at Creative Castle teaching I went down and took three of her classes, oh did I have a lot of fun!  Between Carole and Sabine I was in heaven!
Here is a picture of them singing to us!  Sorry it is so fuzzy Carole was taking my phone so I couldn't get a picture.

I stayed at Carole's house and it is like a 5 star resort!  Sabine and I would eat out by the pool so I snapped a picture of Sabine crocheting in the morning, what a talented woman she is!  Thank you so much Carole for all the love that you give me!

Here are a few pictures of the projects I am working on from Sabine's classes.  If you have a chance to take any of her classes you will be sorry if you don't, she is a wonderful teacher and person!


Parts of the 50 Link Necklace

50 Links Necklace done!

Avalon Bracelet in progress!



 

And to all a good night!
Love, Kandra

Day 18

Dennis hydrating himself before radiation!

Well days have passed and Dennis is doing great no side effects yet and he went back to work in the office just taking off plans, he is very happy to be back at work he was bored to death!  I can't say enough good things about Mission Hope in Santa Maria, they care about all of their patients and are very loving and kind!  We feel blessed to have such a wonderful place in our area!

Have I ever said how much I hate computers?  Well I do all I am is a good trained monkey and if they are not working correct it pushes me right over the edge!  This morning was like that, my good friend Susan who owns Beads By The Bay in Morro Bay came to see me this morning and by the time she got to the shop I was crazy!  All it took was for her to hug me and I feel apart and started sobbing and telling her how I just don't think I can do this!  After she let me cry for a while we went next door for breakfast where we talked and she gave me some really good advice, don't change anything or make any big decisions until this radiation is over!  Little things are like huge things to me my emotions are crazy, but one thing I know for sure is I am a woman who has a website and works on her computer all day and hates them!  I need to take a beginner class on computers because I can do really hard things but if I haven't been shown something even if it's easy I can't do it!  Computer fixed thanks to Carlos and now my evening is turning out much better!

 

 

 

Zoe and Grandma

Dennis and I went to Fresno a few weeks back to visit children and grandchildren and I got to see my Zoe Bug, she is getting so big I was just amazed at how tall she is now and a big 4 years old!  

CR Radding is coming over this weekend to teach it will be nice to see her she is a wonderful teacher and friend! 

The next weekend Liz Smith will be at the shop teaching and again it will be wonderful to see her and take classes, another great teacher!

Well all I can say is it's a good thing I didn't write this blog this morning because it would of sounded a whole lot different!  (x-rated) 

I want to thank everyone for their kind words, it is so wonderful having such a great support system around me.  It means a lot to me that you take the time to write something because I know how busy life is and even a sentence can be a hard thing to take time to do.  Thank you all!!

 

I thought I would have time to do some things at home while Dennis is going through radiation but I was sure wrong!  By the time I process my orders it is time for Dennis to go to radiation so again I have picked out a lot of things to do and I can't get to them.  One was gourds I love working with them but don't take the time so if by chance maybe Sunday I will be able to do one, I will take some pictures so everyone can see what I'm working on.  I love burning designs in them and then putting dye on them, adding beads and pine needles is also fun with gourds, the sky is the limit!

I haven't even had time to sit at my torch, the last time was Christmas day for 2 hours, what a sad thing!  Plus I've been selling a lot of them in the store and the case is starting to look really sad!  I need to clone me what a great thought, if we only could.  

 

Well enough for tonight I need to get up early and start my day plus it's Gerrie's birthday tomorrow and we are going to lunch at Gina's in the village.  They have the best food !

Love, Kandra

Day 5

Today was a bad day for me, I felt like crying all day.  My feelings were hurt a few times and the x-ray place keeps calling and changing his appointment, this is for his MRI.  We get to Mission Hope today and they forgot to call and tell us they moved his appointment to 4pm instead of 3pm.  I wanted to talk with the dietitian because we are confused about what foods Dennis can eat and what he can't eat, she had left for the day and will call me tomorrow.

I guess my nerves are just shot to hell and I know that we have only just started!  I have a feeling it is going to be a long year.  My honey is so positive and I am, but I am so scared that everything just sets me off.  Like Saturday and Sunday Dennis was weighing beads, he does this a lot for me at the shop, he can't put the labels on though, because he puts them on crooked (ha-ha) you have to find humor where you can.  He was saying that his back was feeling fatigued and now I am worrying that the cancer has moved to his spine.  I will ask the doctor on Thursday.  He has weighed beads for years and has never complained about his back, maybe I need to let it go but the doctor said that if it spreads it will go to his spine so now I have that in my head and I am worrying.  I will be surprised if I make it through the year.

Dennis wants to go to Fresno this weekend so we can see my Aunt and my Granddaughter, we will see his kids and his friend Charlie who also has cancer, it will be a busy weekend.  I want to see Sandy because she hasn't been feeling well and I am worried about her.  I wish she would start feeling better I miss her so much!  We need to make this trip before Dennis gets to tired from the radiation, I already see him getting really tired.  We were talking Sunday driving home from the shop that he may not be able to go with me on the weekends very much longer, that will be another pain in my heart, we are always together on the weekends at the shop!  I really don't want to be there without him.

Sorry to be complaining so much but this is where I will be venting for awhile.  I feel really alone like I have no one to turn to with all of my fears.  Some of them I don't want to say to Dennis some of them I do.  I guess it is just a down day and tomorrow will be a better day.  It will be a busy one we have the MRI first and then the radiation after that.  Dennis took some of the glow in the dark beads with him to his job today and put them under his shirt to tell the guys that all the radiation had made him glow, he cracks me up!

The up side is I have a lot of new beads that came in and I am working on getting them on the website.

Here is a brain dead bracelet I am working on tonight to keep myself busy, I love the bright colors though!  Sometimes I just want to sit and work on something easy and fast!

 I know it doesn't look like much but it is my face a mold of it and now I'm beading the whole face.  I've been working on this for years and just got it out again to get it finished.  It really will be beautiful when I finish with it.  I will do a lot of beading on top of the face when I finish getting it covered.  If only you could be in my brain and see what I see.  ha-ha

I guess that's all for tonight!

First Day Of Radiation

Here we are at Mission Hope in Santa Maria for my honeys first treatment.  He is doing wonderful as always as I silently fall apart inside.  Fear is an interesting thing it plays on so many different areas of your mind!  We are laughing and talking to each other they call him in and I go with him.  They say I can see where they are going to be doing the radiation, we walk in together and he hands me his glasses because he can't have any metal on him.  As he gets into the machine I can feel my heart start to hurt and squeeze tight, I tell him I love him give him a kiss and walk out to the waiting room.  As I walk out I start to cry because fear has taken a hold of me in a powerful way, what would I do without Dennis in my life, he is my best friend and the love of my life.  I would like to think that I am a strong woman but deep inside I know that Dennis is my strength.

I had many text messages from our friends and daughters this morning while we were at Mission Hope and I can't thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart!  Dennis and I feel very blessed to have such wonderful people in our life.  He told me the reason we opened the shop in Solvang was so we could meet the wonderful people we have in our life now, I think I will agree with him!

When he came out he said he didn't feel anything and didn't even know that they were doing radiation on him.  That is my man!  God let me be more like him!

We will be going at 3pm everyday now for his treatment for 9 weeks please send us a lot of prayers and love that will hold us up, maybe me more than Dennis because he is taking this much better than me.  We will see Dr. Ketting every Thursday to check in and he will be letting us know how things are going, I really like him and so does Dennis.  He talks to us like a real person and makes eye contact, he does not talk down to us he just talks with us.  He will answer questions more than once if you don't understand something and does not get up set, he takes his time with us and does not make us feel rushed, thank God for Dr. Ketting!

Well thank you for letting me vent and say how I am feeling!  This is going to be an interesting journey, well maybe more like a roller coaster ride and I don't like them!

Love, Kandra

PS, Perry thank you for being there for me my very dear friend!

A New Year

This is the love of my life, I hear a lot of people talking about their soul mate and I have never been quite sure about that saying but after 26 years with Dennis I can say he is my best friend the person I love the most and want to spend the rest of my life with.  We spend all of our time together and we never get tired of each other, I love the weekends when he gets to be at the shop with me!  We do every thing together and we like it, we never tire of talking or listening to each other.  We have a great respect for each other and nurture each other.  When I am tired he will carry me and when he is tired I will carry him.  He always lifts me up and tells me what a great job I am doing, I love this man with all my heart and soul.

About three months ago he was diagnosed with cancer and I feel like my world is crashing in around me.  Dennis will be starting radiation on the 7th of January and will go everyday for nine weeks.  He has his little tattoos and his markers have been placed, we will walk through this together and I will be there for him in every way that he needs.  When the Doctor called us at home to tell us he had cancer and it wasn't the good kind I felt like I couldn't breath and my heart actually hurt, the pain was incredible!  Dennis is always there for me and he is not even worried, if someone asks him how he is feeling he will replay great.  I say this to him every day "I wish I could be more like you".  He has such a great outlook on life and there is never a problem, he is my rock and my love, I can't even think about life without him!

I have had a lot of people in my life die from cancer and I am scared to death that I will lose the love of my life, I can't even image life without him, I fear I would just curl up and die!  Please send love and light to my Dennis to help us get through this, I believe is prayer and love, so please send us a lot of it the next three months as we walk down another path together.

Please do not post this on Facebook, I just need a place to vent and write.  I don't have a lot of followers so I feel this is a safe place to vent and say what I am feeling.  My followers are like my friends so I don't mind venting on my blog but I don't think I am ready for it to be all over Facebook yet.

I will be doing a lot of writing the next few months because I just need a place that I can write down how I am feeling and my fears and joys.

It is a few minutes until the new year and I am sending blessing to all my friends, may this year bring you much joy, happiness and contentment!  My friends that are going through the fire also, I send you rain to put out the fire and my love to help carry you through it.  

Love, Kandra